I’m at the phase of life where I no longer have to change diapers, use car seats or have a babysitter for every hour-long outing. You would think this taste of freedom would be life-changing, and it is. But no more babies or small kids means just one thing.
Teenagers.
In my case, two teenage girls.
Let me tell you, it’s a whole thing to deal with girls who have yet to complete high school but who already know everything!
So. Much. Fun.
After all of those years of living as their servant, I do still crave their attention. I’ve decided it’s a form of Stockholm Syndrome that immediately needs addressing. But since I have a $12,000 deductible for my health insurance, it’s not going to be fixed by a medical professional. I’m just going to spend my time forcing them to love me back.
Just last week, I asked my 12-year-old to walk around the River Walk with me. You can imagine my surprise when she readily agreed. I threw on my stretched-out yoga pants and grabbed my tennis shoes.
And then I waited.
And waited some more.
And called out for her.
And called again.
And, finally, pounded on her door, expecting to find a child who had lost consciousness and was unable to respond.
But, alas, no. As the door opened, my daughter emerged in a cloud of makeup that made it hard to breathe. She looked ready for a night on the town instead of an evening stroll with her ol’ mom.
Katie: Oh wow. You look great! But I’m wondering if it’s appropriate attire for a quick walk?
Cambri: I don’t understand.
Katie: It’s just that we are going to be out in the heat, moving at a quicker pace. You might be more comfortable in shorts and tennis shoes.
Cambri: I own none of what you’re talking about. If you don’t want me to go like this, I will stay home.
Katie: No, we can go. I was just telling you my thoughts.
So, out the door and off we went on our little adventure. We weren’t 10 steps down our driveway, when she pulled her Airpods out of her pocket and slid them in.
Katie: What are you doing?
Cambri: I’m going to listen to TikTok.
Katie: I thought we could talk, but if that’s not the case, I’m going to grab my headphones too. Don’t you think it will look a little odd for two people to walk together but not listening to their own devices?
Cambri: Why would that look odd?
Generation Zers are a group of people I may never understand.
But as it turns out, Cambri had a plan for us not to look weird while walking together. She pulled out her phone and started slowing down until she was 10 steps behind me. When I slowed down, she would slow down more. So, our walk together turned into her trailing behind me at a very comfortable distance. I experimented by speeding up and slowing down at certain intervals. I dropped sticks and purposely walked in a way that would lead her right into dog poop. But she never failed at keeping 10 feet behind me, all without even looking up from her phone once. If I hadn’t been so insulted, I would have almost been impressed by this ability.
As we walked around our beautiful river walkway, I wondered when things changed from her adoring me to wanting a 10-foot bubble at all times. But then a supernatural magical thing happened.
Her airpods died. And it turned out, conversing with mom was better than walking in silence. I took the opportunity, though it did feel like bread crumbs being doled out to a cute puppy under the table. We talked about school, summer and all the things a momma’s heart needs to cover when you have one-on-one time with your youngest child. When we arrived home, I said, “That wasn’t too bad, now was it?”
How did she reply?
“Not at all. I learned a valuable lesson. I shouldn’t get so far away from home without my chargeable power bank. Never again.”
And this is the child who still loves me the most. Pray for me, my sweet friends.
To read more of the September issue click here.