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From Full House to Quiet Nest.

Embracing Change I Never Asked For

Published online: Sep 24, 2024 Articles Katie Burke
Viewed 1043 time(s)

It was an early July morning In Idaho Falls with the sun barely peeking over the horizon, when I found myself jolted awake by an early morning call from my oldest child. It was 6 a.m., which means I was in for it. I instantly knew it wasn’t good because my family doesn’t function that early on the best of days. I braced myself as I reluctantly hit the answer button on my cell phone.  I was hoping it was an I-broke-a-nail-kind-of emergency because that does constitute as a full-blown crisis in our house. We’re a bunch of girls and we operate as such. 

But, alas, no, it was much worse. My daughter Bizzy’s car had been stolen. A quick lesson on why staying in Idaho wouldn’t have been the worst thing. The Ring Doorbell footage revealed a startling scene: five masked men swiftly surrounding the vehicle and driving it away within 30 seconds. This incident would be devastating under any circumstances, but today, it felt particularly cruel. Today was Bizzy’s first day of her new college life, in her new apartment, in a new state, on her new adventure and everything the kid considers sacred was in the car because she hadn’t unpacked after a 12-hour drive the day before. 

Sigh. 

When she had left the previous Friday morning, I swear I spent a full 24 hours trying to relive her childhood in my head. It went so fast. She was playing dress up with her sister and her cats just yesterday. Now she’s a 17-year-old who lives under the grace of a landlord who’s going to wait 3 weeks until she can legally sign a lease. Functioning as her own independent adult, which honestly, she’s been doing for a while. 

I remembered the good stuff and the stuff I would have changed. There were a great many things I would have done differently. I spent some time being sad that my divorce had robbed me of the ability to travel with her because of the Airbnb I run full time during the summer. I tried to focus on the best days of her growing up, which felt like a whirlwind of moments that slipped through my fingers too quickly. One day she was riding bikes down the street, and the next, she was packing for college. The years seemed to blur together, and I found myself wishing I could slow down time just to hold onto those precious memories a little longer.

I had finally gotten to the point of acceptance when she called to remind me this world is a wild ride and I wasn’t physically there to be of any help. I could send her the VIN number and call the insurance company, of course, but as a mom I absolutely want to step in and help solve her problems. 

But hey, miracles DO happen and the police located her gaming PC and boxes of clothes on the side of the road. Then a few hours later, they located her car with everything she owned (sans her wireless speaker and cell phone charger) when the delinquents who stole it jumped out of it to steal another car, presumably one with more gas at that point. 

So we just pretended that terrible day never even happened and the next was the start of her adventure. Now that a piece of my soul lives two states away, I want you to know Bizzy that you have a place in my heart that no one else could ever own. I loved you first, from the second I found out you existed on that cold December day and everyday since. You’re amazing. You’ll do great. And you can’t fail because I will be your backup plan until forever. Go be kind, learn the things and then change the world. 

You’ve got this, kid.


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